Sometimes aspects of my job are enough to leave me shattered and distorted. I help run an after school program for high school students from low socio-economic backgrounds, and there are times when the things I deal with on a daily basis force a hatred of the human species to flare out in an angry wave. Sometimes I feel like all of the work I put into this program is fucking bullshit. Especially when I'm met with red tape and incompetency at every step.
But then I remember that the kids themselves are good kids. They are smart, funny, and have so much love in them. They come to our program centre radiating something that is more than the environment which produced them. And even myself, I who came from a place full of poverty, sexual abuse and secrecy, I am not a carbon copy of that environment. I am other than environmental factors. We are other than the society which produce us.
What is that other thing which is responsible for individuality? Where does goodness come from?
I have always thought that we all have the innate ability to have goodness within us - it's just whether we choose or are willing to give off ourselves, often we find it too hard or we are distrustful of those around us and thereby unable to give off that goodness. It's when you find inner strength and really don't care anymore about the others reaction that being good becomes easy.... but that's just me. Look forward to reading more.. I like the way your mind works.
ReplyDeleteWell said. I think that's the most difficult obstacle, not worrying about the reactions and responses of others and just being.
ReplyDelete